The Last Days

The bread that Zimmet made us. We lived off of it for days! It was SOOOO good.

Saturday and Sunday went by in a blur. We spent an ugly 3 hours in traffic going to this beautiful crater on Saturday. That was totally traumatic. At one point it was so hot I took Sam's shirt off in the car and apparantly that is a no-no in Ethiopia. Spent some great times at the Hill Bottom relaxing and drinking AMAZING 50 cent macchiatos.

Sam hanging with some other kids at the crater.

Sam trying his first beer. Just kidding! But he did love the feel of the glass on his lips.

Part of the traffic problem??

Yes, this is a carseat in Ethiopia. In fast, seatbelts were a luxury.

I wanted to share pictures of the coffee ceremony that Wegayu and Zimmet had for us. They also cooked an Ethiopian meal for us and it was SO good. We all (Sam included) ate the entire thing.

Zimmet and her mom decided they trusted us enough to share their homemade liquor with the women. They gave it to us during the times we would share coffee together. This stuff was STRONG! Like shivers all up and down your body strong. They thought it was hilarious as we sat there making sounds after taking a shot of it. They gave us even stronger stuff the next day. My goodness!

One thing Pete and I did which was hilarious was play tennis on Sunday. There were two clay courts at the Hill Bottom and we decided to get some exercise. Well, playing when you are exhausted at 8,000 feet on clay courts makes us even worse than normal. The funniest thing was that they insisted we have two ball boys. These guys were so cute (like 8 years and 12 years old) and thought our lack of talent was hilarious. We made sure to tip generously afterwards. The tennis guy came up to us and suggested we have lessons in the future. We laughed so hard.

Sunday we also took off on a long long journey home. That was an experience (like child birth I imagine) that I'd just like to forget. It was rough. 4 planes and about 36 hours straight of traveling. Considering all the new things he was seeing and experiencing, I'm glad he did as well as he did.

As we left on Sunday I was glad. I missed the comforts of home and the emotional toll that the trip had taken on me. However, as we said goodbye to Zimmet, Wegayu, Macha the dog, and Binyam, I was so sad. I wanted to remain in their presence. I still miss the gorgeous garden and beautiful floors in Ayat House, hearing Zimmet chatter in the background as she washed dishes or cleaned the house, watching Wegayu throw the ball to Macha, having cocktail hour, the shiro wot (chickpea stew), those incredible dancers at Fasika, seeing Binyam's smile every day when he saw Sam, Hill Bottom Cafe and Restaurant, Travis our local Gladney staff and his hilarious remarks, and of course that moment when I saw my son for the first time. I hope to be back someday soon.

Sam on the airplane home....

The Hardest Day - Friday

Friday was the day that we met Sam's birth mother. I had been an emotional wreck thinking about it all week, especially because we knew Sam still remembered her. I don't want to go into too much detail since it is something that Sam will share for himself if/when he feels comfortable in the future. I will say that it is truly devastating that some people in life just don't have a chance at a good future.

After the visit, Sam and I just spent some time together alone while the rest of the group toured the government run orphanages. He slept on my chest and I just sat there and cried and cried.

Going into the meeting I worried about how I would feel. Then I worried about how Sam would feel. But what was so devastating was seeing how SHE felt. We all came away feeling for her loss so deeply.

They say adoption is all about loss. That is certainly true.

I will always be able to tell Sam about how much his birth mother loved him because I could see it in her eyes and in her being. She wants him to be a scientist...he is in the right family for that!

That night we all just sat at the table and were quiet. Between the birth mother meeting and visiting the older kids at the government orphanages, it had been a very somber day.

Day 3 - Visiting Gladney

Special Mother! She dressed him in traditional Ethiopian attire as a gift!

Sleeping on me most of the afternoon.

His favorite Caregiver.

Wednesday was the day when we all visited Gladney's four foster care centers and had a coffee ceremony. The coffee ceremony is a very important part of Ethiopian culture. As you may know, coffee basically started in Ethiopia (like everything else) and is unbelievable. It is their main export. The ceremony consists of roasting the beans, adding the spices, and pouring which are all done in a very intricate manner. It was also the time to meet the other parents traveling to pick up their children too. I so enjoyed getting to know these couples throughout the week.

Unfortunately Sam threw up twice before we even got to Gladney's centers that day. He was feverish so we actually visited the Gladney doctor while we were there. Talk about a guy who works under tough conditions!

There are two main reasons to visit the care centers: 1) to see where your child has been living and 2) to thank and meet the amazing caregivers. It was so awesome to see how clean, organized, and loving the environment was at these four centers. We spent a lot of time tracking down kids whose parents have not yet traveled to meet them and the caregivers knew who everyone was and someone was always getting held. They really are saints because it was LOUD in there! We got to meet Sam's "Special Mother" and some other caregivers he was really close to as well. But mainly it was so amazing to see all the kids! I won't post the pictures I took but trust me when I say that these kids will remain in my heart forever.

FOR ADOPTIVE PARENTS TRAVELING: The hardest part about the week in Ethiopia for me was having to hand Sam over constantly. Because of Ethiopian law, we couldn't take him in public with us so we had to hand him over to a caregiver babysitter a few times. In addition, we were constantly handing him over to other people, other caregivers, people we met, etc. Most of the time I loved it (when Wegayu and Zimmet and Binyam would take him it was wonderful!) but it was really hard to leave him when all I wanted to do was hug him non-stop.

When we finished the coffee ceremony, we skipped lunch and went back home where Sam proceeded to throw up three more times. Luckily I brought Pedialite. By the end of the day he was doing better but he spent the entire afternoon sleeping on my chest. I didn't mind one bit...

Day 2 - Family Bonding Day

Today was the assigned "family bonding day." It was truly the day that Sam started to come out of his shell. We tried walking, he laughed, he started babbling, and he started to slowly trust us a bit. And it was the first day that he cried. We were relieved when he cried because it meant he seemed more like a real 14 month old boy!

This was also the day that his obsession with Macha the Dog began. Even this morning, he was babbling Macha's name repeatedly. He calls our dog Chewy Macha, but that's okay!

We had a lovely cocktail party in the afternoon with Wegayu (the caretaker of the Ayat House) and Zimmet (she cleans, she cooks, she does laundry, she is AMAZING). We spent some time getting to know them. They are the most incredible people and I still miss them intensely every day. Can't wait to go back and see them in the future.

Enjoy the pics and videos...

Meeting Sam

We arrived in Ethiopia on Monday afternoon and spent a long time in a Visa line and a security line that I can only call suspect. I was surprised by how modern and large the airport was and how many foreigners were traveling there. We were in the visa line with a huge group of Italians and Germans.

We met Travis, the Gladney rep, and Binyam (butchering the spelling), our driver, post security. I will talk a lot about Travis and Binyam in these posts because, quite simply, they both rock. Travis basically told us that we were going to go to our guest home and have about 30 minutes to unpack and get ready before he brought over Sam. Immediately Pete and I started panicking.

We got in our van and started driving. I wish I could explain how Addis Ababa looked and felt. I'll start with the positives: tons of smiling, wonderful, warm people, a vivacious community, and an amazing diverse population. The paradoxes were unbelievable. You'd see women dressed in tube tops and high heels next to women in full burkas with only their eyes showing, next to women in beautiful head scarves and traditional attire. The town was a mixture of 500000 construction projects with big Catepillar machines next to a herd of donkeys next to a rickshaw next to a BMW. The hard stuff to handle: 1) the fumes...they are SO bad. Bad enough that people were having asthma attacks constantly, 2) the poverty...so many kids walking around in groups without parents, people sick on the streets, etc, 3) the traffic...there is SO much traffic and so many people around.

So we get to the beautiful Ayat Guest House, which is an amazing refuge, in this city. I will also talk a lot about the Ayat house in these posts because it was the most incredible place to stay. We rush to unpack (and clean up since we had been traveling for 36 hours). I am in a state of total freakiness. We try and find the cameras and get ready and then we hear Travis downstairs.

It's weird but the thing I remember the most about the first time I saw him was this tremendous sense of calm. I choked on a sob and then just walked over to him and slowly took him in my arms. You'll see from the video that he was very quiet and just checked everything out. No crying, just a bit of terror. Our moms were beyond themselves in the corner of the yard. He attached to me right away. It was the most incredible surreal experience.

We spent the rest of the day laying on the couch. He didn't speak, just checked everything out. He fell asleep on me a few times. That night, after dinner, we put him to sleep and he just conked. Poor guy. I didn't sleep much because I kept waking up to stare at this beautiful boy of mine.

And that was the end of the first day...

Travel Day - Dubai is WILD!!

Starting our journey.....

Here are some pictures of Dubai (we had a 13 hour layover) including the world's tallest building. Dubai is wild because it's basically one insanely tall building after another and it's filled with people from every country in the world. Emirates Air also puts you up in a hotel too as part of your ticket.

Dubai airport - the cleanest most gleaming airport in the world!

No, we were not in first class but Pete took pictures up there. It's INCREDIBLE!

We left on Saturday afternoon and flew from Albuquerque to Houston. In Houston, we met up with Pete's mom and started on Emirates Air. Let me tell you about this airline: it's incredible! The flight attendants are from all different countries and speak multiple languages. They are all handsome and young too. The airline has an incredible entertainment system and really nice seats. The flight was wild because it was going to Dubai so first class was filled with Texas oil tycoons and then the rest of the airplane were Indians, Pakistanis and a few Arabs.

We are home!

So much for having internet in Ethiopia. It's pretty hard to find!

Will be posting the entire story as the day progresses, but here is the first picture of the two of us together. My heart is so filled with love.

He is SUCH a different boy now than in these two pictures. He was so quiet and scared those first 24 hours and now I'm listening to him babble incoherently and crawling around on our floor next to Chewy.

Getting ready...

Will this suitcase close? Doubtful.



Will this bag get through? Probably not.



But will this crib be filled in a little over a week? YES IT WILL!!!!

Countdown!

Dentist - check
Doctor - check
Dermatologist - check
Eye Doctor - check
Hair Cut (something easy to maintain) - check
Adding Sam to insurance - check

Trying to get everything out of the way before we leave on Saturday. I've been getting up at the crack of dawn every morning and falling asleep super early because of all the things on the list. But I think I'm mostly nervous.

I'm nervous that he will despise my presence and want his caregivers back. I'm nervous that I have absolutely no idea what to do. And I'm nervous to have my life completely change. It's like when my husband proposed. I was ecstatic and had NO doubt I wanted to spend my life with him. However, there is a mourning period that women go through that isn't talked about much. The loss of an independent life. It's scary to think that I am fully responsible for a 14 month boy (in addition to our house, our fish, and our dog).

I have no doubt that I will love him more than I love anybody. And that's scary too!

Off to get more charitable items and figure out how to work the system with the airlines...bordering on 4 bags now.

October 20, 2009 - It's Official!

Introducing Sam Amanuel Shepard!

Here is the first picture we received of him. This is when I fell in love!



What a morning yesterday! After our court date had been messed up twice (october 5 then october 12), I was so nervous. I couldn't focus on anything and as time slipped away, I was absolutely convinced that it was bad news and Sara just was trying to figure out a way to tell me. But no, it was good news!

Pete, Pete's mom, my mom and step-father, and I will head out on Saturday, November 7 to arrive on November 9! We're pretty set on UAE airlines from the positive reviews I've heard but are very confused about where to stay.

Yesterday I went shopping, had a pedicure, had a Dairy Queen blizzard and had an EXTREMELY nice dinner with my husband and drank lots of wine. It felt like the weight of this 4 year saga had been lifted from my shoulders. I feel so blessed.

July 23, 2009

Continuation...

Needless to say, I have never cried so hard in my life. I sat in the car and just cried and cried. The dog licked my face for a half hour because she was so worried about me. I felt like a 4 year burden had been finally lifted.

Of course, Sara wasn't back in the office yet so I had no details. Pete was in a canoe sailing away. I left a message for my mom which was totally incomprehensible. She called back later and said, "I couldn't understand a single word but it sounded like happy crying."

I figured out that I could reach Pete through his mother (his parents were doing just the canoe portion of the trek). So I called her cell phone and told her. She was so excited and then tried to contain herself while she passed the phone along to Pete. She said, "Pete, it's Megan. It's nothing bad." I said, "Honey, we have a baby!" and started bawling again. Pete was super quiet and said, "what?" It turns out he thought first that I meant I was pregnant, then that I was crying because I had a miscarriage. Needless to say once he figured it out he was ecstatic. Then I had to wait 12 hours to see him!

I still didn't know any details about anything. I kept driving around this resort in Jackson trying to keep cell phone service to talk to Sara once she got into work.

Eventually, I found a spot overlooking the Teton Mountains at a picnic table and we got in touch. Sam is a beautiful 11 month boy who had just recently arrived at the orphanage. He is so gorgeous and is in need of a lot of TLC. He's a little bitty thing. Sara admitted this was the strangest situation she'd had, with me staring at the mountains and my husband on a major trek across the mountains.

I spent the rest of the day not telling anyone anything because I wanted to discuss everything with Pete. This drove my sister-in-law Marit crazy and my mother-in-law. I went to this internet station to go pull up my email and look at the pictures. There was this guy there hogging the computer checking his stocks and then the weather. I literally almost knocked him off the chair. Finally, I saw pictures of Sam. He has the most beautiful eyes in the world. They are a bit sad, so I can't wait to fill them with happiness.

The rest of the day was spent in a blur. The only people who knew were my mom, Pete's family who were on vacation with us, and two friends that were witness to it all.

We went hiking and then it was my night to make dinner. I attempted to do it and waited for Pete. When Pete arrived we went into our room and I told him Sam's story. I was a bit worried that Pete would be hesitant. But I knew that my fears were unfounded when Pete said, "He's perfect. He's our son."

We announced it at dinner that night. Then the next morning we called Sara and told her we were thrilled to call Sam our son. Sniff.

Then we spent the next two days calling and emailing lots of people. It was so amazing how thrilled people were for us. It made us feel so supported. This child will be so loved.

And that is the story of how we found out about our son.

July 22, 2009 and July 23, 2009

Referral Story

So, we moved from Madison, WI at the end of June to Santa Fe, NM. We thought that the last thing on our mind was getting a referral, as we had only been waiting 4 1/2 months and I kept hearing it was getting longer and longer (9 months). We decided to take most of July off to celebrate Pete being done with his residency and this big new change in our lives.

We spent the first two weeks of July in France, visiting my dad and sisters.






We came back and actually moved into our house a bit. I made a couple of quick trips to Madison to finish out some stuff with my job. THEN, we went on our next trek which was to Pete's family's cabin in Idaho.

Now Pete and his brothers are a tad bit daredevilish when it comes to the outdoors. Usually when we go on vacation, someone gets physically harmed. This vacation, Pete and his brothers decided they were going to do the world's first Trans Teton Triathalon. This event would start by canoeing across Jackson Lake for 7 miles, then BUSHWACKING through 13 miles of a mountain pass into Idaho, and then biking 15 miles. I was part of the support staff so I drove them to the canoe put-out point at 6:00 am (after 4 hours sleep).

The day before (July 22) we had been at Yellowstone, doing some light hiking and driving around. An 817 number came up on my phone and I said, "oh, it's just Sara calling to confirm all of our new info" because we had talked the day before via email about all of the new things we'd have to do because we had moved. Didn't think a thing of it and had no cell phone service for the rest of the day.

As soon as the crew took off, I noticed I had a message on my cell phone and had reception for the first time in 24 hours. I also noticed I had a new email message (thank GOD for my new iphone). Well there it was. The words I did NOT expect to hear.....

WHAT A MONTH!!

We received our referral! It's quite the story...

Changes, Changes

Well, we're 2 1/2 months on the list now. I'm guessing that we'll be getting the referral in November and picking up Baby in February. But I've learned that can change!

We've been extremely busy getting ready for the next huge change in our lives: picking up and moving to Santa Fe! We're excited for our new home (with a great fenced in yard for Baby and Chewy!) and are ready to explore such a great city. We're moving in late June and then hitting the road to visit all of our family before Pete has to start his job in early August. Of course this means 1,000 new forms to fill out once we move but Gladney thinks it shouldn't be a problem at all because we won't have received the referral yet. And to be honest, many of them will probably expire anyway.

Soon I will have time to break back into the blogging world and catch up with all my favorite bloggers!

1 Month Down!

Officially one month on the wait list today. However, I feel like we haven't really gotten anywhere because I received word that the wait is now 7.5 months. Sigh. But that's okay! Just happy we're on the list!

ON THE WAIT LIST!!!

Start the clocks, our dossier is on its way to DC as we speak! I never thought this day would come! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

Maternity Clothes

So we're cleaning out our basement this past weekend...I find the dreaded boxes of maternity clothes that my step-mother gave to me before moving out of the country. I've had them for 4 1/2 years. I kept them because I thought that one day a miracle would occur and I would need them. Well, that's not happening.

I decided to sell all of them on Ebay. I had these nice intentions of using the money to pay for stuff around the house. Then I went out to lunch with a friend. I told her the story and she looked at me angerly and said, "I want you to take any money you make off those clothes and spend it on something absolutely ridiculous. Pink shoes, an exotic purse, a necklace you don't need. You deserve to get something fun out of the horrible infertility road you've been on. I DEMAND it."

So I agreed! Any thoughts on how I should spend??

Done with the dreaded paperwork!

We FINALLY got word today that our paperwork is complete for our dossier. KBS has one or two more authentications to do and then she'll send it to Gladney. I'm SO glad that pretty soon we'll be able to start the clock. We must be the WORST paperwork couple on the planet. Pathetic. We were so busy in February that things got all clogged up and we did all these forms incorrectly or just sloppily. I was so frustrated. So I'm really happy that now we can think about the good stuff!

So yay!

PAPERWORK SUCKS!

It sucks! It really really does. I'm now on the third letter from my bank (and my 6th phone call), my life insurance letter has to be redone because the notary didn't put when her commission expired, Pete's doctor's letter has to be redone, and....here's the REALLY good one, 5 documents that Pete and I both notarized have to be redone because Pete put the date as 2/2/9 instead of 2/2/09. SERIOUSLY? That can't be translated? That isn't a legal date?

I'm taking a self-imposed break from this today. Need to chill.

I guess one week isn't going to make a difference when the wait is getting longer and longer for referrals and court dates.

Frustration!

Favorable Determination

Those are amazing words to hear. Even better when they come in the mail from CIS! They did it in under 2 weeks which is unbelievable. I never thought we'd be behind the government in terms of getting our stuff together. So now we just have to get 1,000 things notarized, wait for one more letter, and it's in the hands of KBS Dossiers. I'm hoping this will all be taken care of in two weeks. Probably wishful thinking....