Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Hardest Day - Friday

Friday was the day that we met Sam's birth mother. I had been an emotional wreck thinking about it all week, especially because we knew Sam still remembered her. I don't want to go into too much detail since it is something that Sam will share for himself if/when he feels comfortable in the future. I will say that it is truly devastating that some people in life just don't have a chance at a good future.

After the visit, Sam and I just spent some time together alone while the rest of the group toured the government run orphanages. He slept on my chest and I just sat there and cried and cried.

Going into the meeting I worried about how I would feel. Then I worried about how Sam would feel. But what was so devastating was seeing how SHE felt. We all came away feeling for her loss so deeply.

They say adoption is all about loss. That is certainly true.

I will always be able to tell Sam about how much his birth mother loved him because I could see it in her eyes and in her being. She wants him to be a scientist...he is in the right family for that!

That night we all just sat at the table and were quiet. Between the birth mother meeting and visiting the older kids at the government orphanages, it had been a very somber day.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Day 4 - Socializing and Embassy

Wegayu helping Sam walk. See Macha, Sam's obsession, next to him?

Bath time!

Trying out the backpack with Grandma Judy.



Diaper Time!


Thursday morning we left Sam with a caregiver (sniff) and went to the Orthodox church where Haile Sailesse is buried. The church was pretty incredible and it was really interesting to learn more about the political past of Ethiopia, specifically the Derg regime post-Sailesse.


We rushed home and went to our Embassy appointment. I don't know if I was crazy but I thought the US Embassy would be full of marble halls, organization, and efficiency. Instead we were all put into a hot room with no water after being shuttled about from area to area. The embassy was packed with people too. My "favorite" part about the embassy interview (which was about 30 seconds after waiting 90 minutes...thanks to Gladney for making sure there would be NO problems) was when the woman said, "You understand that this is permanent, right? There are no give backs." Can you believe that?


When we were done with that experience we spent a nice relaxing afternoon (see videos). Then that night we left Sam with a caregiver again and went to Fasika which is a great restaurant with entertainment. Even though we were exhausted, it was fun chatting with everyone in the group, having a St. George beer (yum), eating injera and some amazing food, and watching the entertainment. The dancers were from the same region as Sam so we loved watching them. It was intense dancing! And the crowd was having a ball and dancing too. At one point the female dancer came over and got my mother-in-law, step-father and Pete dancing! It was hilarious.








Day 3 - Visiting Gladney


Special Mother! She dressed him in traditional Ethiopian attire as a gift!



Sleeping on me most of the afternoon.


His favorite Caregiver.



Wednesday was the day when we all visited Gladney's four foster care centers and had a coffee ceremony. The coffee ceremony is a very important part of Ethiopian culture. As you may know, coffee basically started in Ethiopia (like everything else) and is unbelievable. It is their main export. The ceremony consists of roasting the beans, adding the spices, and pouring which are all done in a very intricate manner. It was also the time to meet the other parents traveling to pick up their children too. I so enjoyed getting to know these couples throughout the week.

Unfortunately Sam threw up twice before we even got to Gladney's centers that day. He was feverish so we actually visited the Gladney doctor while we were there. Talk about a guy who works under tough conditions!


There are two main reasons to visit the care centers: 1) to see where your child has been living and 2) to thank and meet the amazing caregivers. It was so awesome to see how clean, organized, and loving the environment was at these four centers. We spent a lot of time tracking down kids whose parents have not yet traveled to meet them and the caregivers knew who everyone was and someone was always getting held. They really are saints because it was LOUD in there! We got to meet Sam's "Special Mother" and some other caregivers he was really close to as well. But mainly it was so amazing to see all the kids! I won't post the pictures I took but trust me when I say that these kids will remain in my heart forever.




FOR ADOPTIVE PARENTS TRAVELING: The hardest part about the week in Ethiopia for me was having to hand Sam over constantly. Because of Ethiopian law, we couldn't take him in public with us so we had to hand him over to a caregiver babysitter a few times. In addition, we were constantly handing him over to other people, other caregivers, people we met, etc. Most of the time I loved it (when Wegayu and Zimmet and Binyam would take him it was wonderful!) but it was really hard to leave him when all I wanted to do was hug him non-stop.



When we finished the coffee ceremony, we skipped lunch and went back home where Sam proceeded to throw up three more times. Luckily I brought Pedialite. By the end of the day he was doing better but he spent the entire afternoon sleeping on my chest. I didn't mind one bit...

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Day 2 - Family Bonding Day




























Today was the assigned "family bonding day." It was truly the day that Sam started to come out of his shell. We tried walking, he laughed, he started babbling, and he started to slowly trust us a bit. And it was the first day that he cried. We were relieved when he cried because it meant he seemed more like a real 14 month old boy!






This was also the day that his obsession with Macha the Dog began. Even this morning, he was babbling Macha's name repeatedly. He calls our dog Chewy Macha, but that's okay!








We had a lovely cocktail party in the afternoon with Wegayu (the caretaker of the Ayat House) and Zimmet (she cleans, she cooks, she does laundry, she is AMAZING). We spent some time getting to know them. They are the most incredible people and I still miss them intensely every day. Can't wait to go back and see them in the future.






Enjoy the pics and videos...






Meeting Sam











We arrived in Ethiopia on Monday afternoon and spent a long time in a Visa line and a security line that I can only call suspect. I was surprised by how modern and large the airport was and how many foreigners were traveling there. We were in the visa line with a huge group of Italians and Germans.


We met Travis, the Gladney rep, and Binyam (butchering the spelling), our driver, post security. I will talk a lot about Travis and Binyam in these posts because, quite simply, they both rock. Travis basically told us that we were going to go to our guest home and have about 30 minutes to unpack and get ready before he brought over Sam. Immediately Pete and I started panicking.


We got in our van and started driving. I wish I could explain how Addis Ababa looked and felt. I'll start with the positives: tons of smiling, wonderful, warm people, a vivacious community, and an amazing diverse population. The paradoxes were unbelievable. You'd see women dressed in tube tops and high heels next to women in full burkas with only their eyes showing, next to women in beautiful head scarves and traditional attire. The town was a mixture of 500000 construction projects with big Catepillar machines next to a herd of donkeys next to a rickshaw next to a BMW. The hard stuff to handle: 1) the fumes...they are SO bad. Bad enough that people were having asthma attacks constantly, 2) the poverty...so many kids walking around in groups without parents, people sick on the streets, etc, 3) the traffic...there is SO much traffic and so many people around.


So we get to the beautiful Ayat Guest House, which is an amazing refuge, in this city. I will also talk a lot about the Ayat house in these posts because it was the most incredible place to stay. We rush to unpack (and clean up since we had been traveling for 36 hours). I am in a state of total freakiness. We try and find the cameras and get ready and then we hear Travis downstairs.



It's weird but the thing I remember the most about the first time I saw him was this tremendous sense of calm. I choked on a sob and then just walked over to him and slowly took him in my arms. You'll see from the video that he was very quiet and just checked everything out. No crying, just a bit of terror. Our moms were beyond themselves in the corner of the yard. He attached to me right away. It was the most incredible surreal experience.


We spent the rest of the day laying on the couch. He didn't speak, just checked everything out. He fell asleep on me a few times. That night, after dinner, we put him to sleep and he just conked. Poor guy. I didn't sleep much because I kept waking up to stare at this beautiful boy of mine.

And that was the end of the first day...









Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Travel Day - Dubai is WILD!!




Starting our journey.....






Here are some pictures of Dubai (we had a 13 hour layover) including the world's tallest building. Dubai is wild because it's basically one insanely tall building after another and it's filled with people from every country in the world. Emirates Air also puts you up in a hotel too as part of your ticket.











Dubai airport - the cleanest most gleaming airport in the world!






























No, we were not in first class but Pete took pictures up there. It's INCREDIBLE!





We left on Saturday afternoon and flew from Albuquerque to Houston. In Houston, we met up with Pete's mom and started on Emirates Air. Let me tell you about this airline: it's incredible! The flight attendants are from all different countries and speak multiple languages. They are all handsome and young too. The airline has an incredible entertainment system and really nice seats. The flight was wild because it was going to Dubai so first class was filled with Texas oil tycoons and then the rest of the airplane were Indians, Pakistanis and a few Arabs.























We are home!



Will be posting the entire story as the day progresses, but here is the first picture of the two of us together. My heart is so filled with love.
He is SUCH a different boy now than in these two pictures. He was so quiet and scared those first 24 hours and now I'm listening to him babble incoherently and crawling around on our floor next to Chewy.
















Friday, November 6, 2009

Getting ready...

Will this suitcase close? Doubtful.



Will this bag get through? Probably not.



But will this crib be filled in a little over a week? YES IT WILL!!!!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Countdown!

Dentist - check
Doctor - check
Dermatologist - check
Eye Doctor - check
Hair Cut (something easy to maintain) - check
Adding Sam to insurance - check

Trying to get everything out of the way before we leave on Saturday. I've been getting up at the crack of dawn every morning and falling asleep super early because of all the things on the list. But I think I'm mostly nervous.

I'm nervous that he will despise my presence and want his caregivers back. I'm nervous that I have absolutely no idea what to do. And I'm nervous to have my life completely change. It's like when my husband proposed. I was ecstatic and had NO doubt I wanted to spend my life with him. However, there is a mourning period that women go through that isn't talked about much. The loss of an independent life. It's scary to think that I am fully responsible for a 14 month boy (in addition to our house, our fish, and our dog).

I have no doubt that I will love him more than I love anybody. And that's scary too!

Off to get more charitable items and figure out how to work the system with the airlines...bordering on 4 bags now.