Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Hardest Day - Friday

Friday was the day that we met Sam's birth mother. I had been an emotional wreck thinking about it all week, especially because we knew Sam still remembered her. I don't want to go into too much detail since it is something that Sam will share for himself if/when he feels comfortable in the future. I will say that it is truly devastating that some people in life just don't have a chance at a good future.

After the visit, Sam and I just spent some time together alone while the rest of the group toured the government run orphanages. He slept on my chest and I just sat there and cried and cried.

Going into the meeting I worried about how I would feel. Then I worried about how Sam would feel. But what was so devastating was seeing how SHE felt. We all came away feeling for her loss so deeply.

They say adoption is all about loss. That is certainly true.

I will always be able to tell Sam about how much his birth mother loved him because I could see it in her eyes and in her being. She wants him to be a scientist...he is in the right family for that!

That night we all just sat at the table and were quiet. Between the birth mother meeting and visiting the older kids at the government orphanages, it had been a very somber day.

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